don't pat yourself on the back

Mansplaining (v) :

Added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary in March of this year, it is defined to be " to explain something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic" but the oh-so reliable Urban Dictionary defines it as "Basically, when a man explains something to a women and gets chastised for it. Seriously, you can't make this sh*t up if you tried."

It seems the irony is lost on some people.

If you have any quote-on-quote feminine qualities in our patriarchal society, you are going to receive slack from a straight white guy at some point in your life. Unfortunately, we live in a world where a lot of men still think that they are doing us a favor by simply walking on Earth.

My first experience with mansplaining was simple. I was doing something I knew how to do (and knew how to do well) when, low and behold, the boy next to takes control of my project, without even considering asking, and began changing everything about it to tailor to his style. He turned around to me when he was finished, donning a face that can only be described as the face you exchange with someone around you when a child says something so unbelievably incorrect, and said "I have experience with this."

It can be as simple as a condescending phrase, or chastising a woman for wanting to do or be something considering overly feminine.

Example: "You're too smart to join a sorority!"

Come on, straight white guy, SURELY you're too smart to still fall into the tired, misogynistic trap of believing that sororities are full of dumb, blonde girls waiting to fall in love with a boy from the frat house across the street and ignoring their education. Sororities can be perfect places for girls to create strong bonds with others and empower themselves and their sisters. So, please, don't pat yourself on the back for that back-handed compliment.

The best way, in my opinion, to deal with this thorn in the sides of women all around the world is to confront it head-on. Smile at them, or don't, and possibly mirror that oh-so pitying look they most likely just gave you, and explain to them that you are perfectly qualified to be doing or saying what you are doing or saying, and move on. It's likely it's not going to sink in and you're not going to make a dent in the thick exterior of superiority that these type of men carry like a trophy, but at least you made the effort (even though you shouldn't have to).

- Katie